I look better un-naked...
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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