do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
