The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
