what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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