so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Randomize
