my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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