I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
