and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
