My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
