i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
