I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
