Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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