We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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