Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
