This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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