Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
