I want to walk on stilts...naked
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
