3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
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