I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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