I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
