Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
