Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
