Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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