Do vagina's smell?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
