I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
