Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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