The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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