Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
