he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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