We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
two words...techno handjob
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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