I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
