I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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