Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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