i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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