He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Randomize
