he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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