did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
