Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
