Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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