Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
