I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Yo dont text me then not text me
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
