butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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