And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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