Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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