I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
