I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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