What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
