Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
