My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
