The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
