Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
