I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
