Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
